The Universe is a pretty big place, but the fact that we are connected to every bit of it, actually means it could be considered, a pretty small place.
I have often heard people say “I would love to be able to meditate, but I can’t do that stuff, when I try, all sorts of thoughts keep popping into my head”
The more we try to relax when we are not ready for sleep, the more of our inner thoughts surface, but don’t worry this is natural and means that you are doing something right, you are beginning to become relaxed and all the ‘chatter’ of your subconscious mind is beginning to leak through. Your subconscious mind does all the ‘real’ number crunching thinking while your conscious mind makes decisions and issues instructions. How often have you gone to look for something and can’t find it, you then give up and move onto something else and later the knowledge of what you were looking for ‘pops’ up and you know the answer. This was your sub-conscious mind trawling through your memory banks of images, actions and sensory inputs and when it finds the answer it delivers it to your conscious mind.
This also happens when you hand over control to driving your car, once you have driven somewhere a few times, it becomes second nature and you tend to find yourself relinquishing control to your sub-conscious for the drive as you start working on and thinking about other issues.
Both conscious and unconscious minds are really one mind, YOU. The more you relax the more you become aware of yourself and the more you meditate the more of yourself you will understand and trust.
One popular way to meditate:
Start of by putting yourself in a situation where you are not disturbed in a quiet room where no loud noises can cause you to jump out of your state of mind, wear some loose soft clothing and lay down and relax or sit upright in a chair. When you feel relaxed start to think of your breathing and count your out breaths, keep this going for several minutes just concentrating on your breathing, in and out. (just like counting sheep when trying to sleep).
Practice this every day if you can for 2 minutes, as you become more practiced you will be able to extend this from 2 minutes to an hour or more, as many times a day as you like and you will notice that you can monitor and count your breathing for longer periods with the practice before stray thoughts leak in, when you get a thought, acknowledge it with kindness and say “thank you, but we will deal with this after I have finished meditating” then push the thought away to the left of your mind and go back to your breath counting. Only count up to ten, before you restart the count from 1 through to ten and deal with any thoughts as instructed above.
Try and keep your breathing regular and deep, if it begins to get to shallow you may be on the way to sleep which is not what you are trying to do. You can also do this with some gentle relaxing music playing in the background. This simple action will encourage your mind to dip into Theta brain wave frequencies which have been proven to be associated with deep meditation and relaxation.
A Meditation for Unconditional Love
This is a meditation that you could practice if you find yourself being demanding on those you love.
Sit on a soft surface so that you are comfortable, a cushion is good, make sure you have privacy and will not be disturbed until you are finished. Even play some music that is soothing and relaxing.
Start your meditation by watching and counting your breath. Once your mind has settled and the stray thoughts have ceased, bring to mind your partner or other loved one. List any conditions you have that limit your love for them. For example, you may find that you love them more on condition that they give you money, or do what you ask of them. Note that these conditions while seemingly practical and rational constrict your heart. Note how these don’t sound like love but more like a demand that your needs be met and you will reward with additional love.
Now visualise giving your loved ones complete freedom to be and do what they want. Does this frighten you, make you sad or change how you feel about them? Bring to your mind the qualities that you love about this person. Perhaps you love their ability to care, their energy, and their willingness to help others or to make you laugh.
Imagine them not being with you or available to meet your needs but still loving them anyway. Feel your heart expand with love as you accept them and love them wholeheartedly, regardless of what they do or don’t do for you.
Allow your heart to swell with love for your loved one and repeat in your mind, I give you freedom, I give you freedom, I give you freedom.
Repeating the affirmation confirms to your inner self that this is what you want, and when you say it, and feel it with love, your inner self will remember that it is with love that you are releasing your loved one from all your previous expectations. This will not change the behavior of your loved one; they will still have the attributes that you love so much. But it will take away your expectation that your loved ones must fulfill your needs.
You can apply this meditation of unconditional love on your partner your children or even your friends, it will help you to be more relaxed with them and in turn they will feel more relaxed with you.